Our society is moving at breakneck speed. So much is changing that we barely have time to think through anything.
As a result we look at issues, only briefly, and only when they become too urgent or ghastly to ignore, or when the day set aside to remember them comes around again.
August 9 was set aside to commemorate the gallant efforts of South African women, who in 1956, marched to Pretoria against the pass laws of the apartheid government. However, the mood this year was not one of celebration.
On August 1, at the beginning of Women’s Month, thousands of women marched under to the Union Buildings to protest against gender-based violence, harassment and femicide in this country.
So while the women of 1956 had marched against the brutal laws of apartheid, the women of 2018 marched against the brutal violence, rape and murder produced by our society.
The Total Shutdown march has highlighted the terrible abuse of women in this country. The brutality they highlighted is however, as universal as the racism of the pass laws in 1956.
SA is a violent society. The crime, rape and violent murder which has become part of our existence has made it intolerable for many.
At the centre of this wave of violence and mayhem are men with attitudes of dominance and entitlement to authority and power by virtue of their being men. Male chauvinism has become the bedrock upon which endemic violence in our society breeds.
Historically the natural physical strength of men afforded them a dominant in role in society. Most societies, such as our own, interpreted this to mean men are the protectors of women and others who do not possess as much physical strength.
This is the context in which men have been encouraged to develop their physical abilities.
We see this through history in various ways – in armies or fighting games and such. Men have been the main ones to bear the physical burden of war and battle.
But things are changing rather fast. The relatively clearcut roles of men and women in traditional societies are less and less valid in the present-day.
The transition has however, not been carefully planned. In fact, traditional societies have been thrust into the present with little to no preparation.
Indeed they were grabbed by the scruff of the neck and dragged into the new world. Traditional ways of life have been brutally disrupted, economies decimated, lands lost. Cities were built on the backs of men who had little to no recourse for help.All the while, women were there, suffering even more from the decimation of their families and whole way of life.
We have not yet had the time to heal from these traumas. Bear with me if you think we must move on quickly. Fact is, our liberators had no time to heal properly.
As for the current generation, today some view the remarkable reconciliatory efforts of great men like Madiba as a waste of time.
Today, we have youngsters who have hardly learned to think calling such men sell-outs.
But who really has time for healing now? Fact is, we have not had time to transition from what we knew to what we must know now in order to build a better society.
And instead of having the benefit of wise leadership we continue to be taught slogans to whip out every time a so-called leader wants to gain support for a vote.
No surprise that we now have a society in which we regularly turn on each other. The man turns on the woman. The woman turns on the man in alarm because he is not supposed to be the representation of horror that he has become.
So what must we now do, now that we have been led to the abyss?
If we wish to reshape our society we must begin by teaching our young men to value women – all women – as they value themselves.
This means we must teach our young men to value themselves properly – and to behave accordingly.
This is a lesson best taught by example. We need to pull the plug on the ever-present anger and violence in our world. We need to teach them skills to solve problems, not by resorting to physical violence, but by using their minds and gaining wisdom.
Who has time to teach these things? Where can they be taught? Who are the teachers?
Maybe we must stop blindly following alleged leaders of today and consider a new trajectory. For starters, women could be trained to lead when wisdom is needed more than physical strength.
A long and great journey beckons, one that needs women and men to embark upon together in order to take us into a new era...