Time to swap flowers for sex toys?

Many couples have dispensed with the heart-shaped balloons, chocolates and flowers that were once synonymous with Valentine’s Day and are keeping their love affair alive in a different way.

Sex toys and lingerie, though by no means new to the South African market, are now making it to the top of many must-have lists.

In a study conducted last year by international research company Statistic Brain Research Institute, South Africans were the third highest country to Google sex toys, scoring 75%.

First was the United States with 100%, followed closely by the United Kingdom with 84%.

According to the research, the global sex toy industry is worth a staggering $15-billion (R200-million).

With statistics taken from The Berman Centre, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Durex and Amazon, the study revealed that 23% of adults had used a sex toy during intercourse, 20% reported some form of kinky play including using masks, blindfolds or bondage, and 44% of women between the ages of 18 to 60 confessed to masturbating with the use of a sex toy at least once a week while 20% of men in the same age category have reported using a vibrator.

The 10 most popular sex toys bought online globally include a vibrator, rubber penis, lubrication, anal beads, penis rings, rubber vagina, blindfolds, strap-on penis, furry handcuffs and bondage gear.

Brodie Meyer – South African owner of Désir Intimate Collection, which specialises in online shopping – said although many South Africans had become more open to the idea of sex toys, there still was a stigma attached to them.

Meyer, who broke into the industry two years ago with a showroom in Camps Bay in Cape Town, said South African customers were generally more comfortable buying online, perhaps with the aim of remaining anonymous.

Meyer said her Cape Town customers, however, had been very receptive to her store, which she described as discreet and upmarket.

She reported a following of about 6 000 subscribers to the store’s newsletter.

The store sells a range of sex toys as well as lubricants and lingerie.

“When my customers come into my store they feel very comfortable and say they feel that they’re in a safe space able to explore that side of their sexuality. I think that’s important for customers.

“Adult stores need to be upmarket and offer high quality products and not be situated in some dingy corner,” she said, adding that her customer base was mostly made up of couples who were looking to spice things up in the bedroom.

“Our customer base is varied and includes both men and women, black, white, Indian and coloured.

“I see a lot of couples coming in of a lot of different age groups and cultures.”

According to Meyer, the most popular item in her inventory is a device called the We-Vibe, a vibrator worn by a woman that is designed to stimulate her intimate parts during intercourse.

Close on its heels is the penis ring, sold in both vibrating and non-vibrating options.

Shantel Pretorius – owner of West Bank-based Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice – said the East London market was split into two, with customers who come in for lingerie and those who love sex toys.

Pretorius said her customers also loved sex toy and lingerie parties, as this gave them an opportunity to ask questions.

“It’s exciting. The whole bedroom scene is very exciting.

“Many people want to find out what toys and lingerie items are available, and they want to know how to use them,” she said.

“Most of my clients are heterosexual couples but those walking in alone are mostly women. I get all different races too. One thing I have noticed is that my black couples tend to ask more questions, and I think it’s because many of them are generally more conservative and this may be new to them.

“I can’t say one race comes in more than the other.

“I would say it’s very balanced.”

Trish van Vuuren, owner of Trish’s Adult Novelties, said her online customers were fond of BDSM (bondage, dominance, sado-masochism) wear, sexy lingerie, vibrators and toys used mostly for bachelorette parties.

She gets mostly heterosexual couples though there are gay and lesbian couples too.

“Corsets are the most popular item I sell. The ladies are really into those. I have a lot of couples who are into the general BDSM gear, such as the floggers and whips.

“I think the Fifty Shades of Grey movies have something to do with that trend. Then my other best-sellers include vibrators of different shapes and different makes.”

Van Vuuren, who ran a shop in the city centre which closed last year, said she had attracted a bigger customer base with her online store.

But just how safe are sex toys to use?

An article in The Guardian last month said sex toys contained fewer dangerous chemicals than children’s toys.

The article, based on a report compiled by a Swedish inspection authority on research conducted last year, found that of 44 surveyed toys 2% were found to have been made with banned chemicals.

One plastic vibrator contained chlorinated paraffin, suspected of causing cancer.

Another three contained phthalates at levels above 0.1%, which is the accepted threshold.

A similar study conducted the year before on children’s toys discovered that of the 112 toys inspected, 15% were made of a number of banned chemicals, including lead.

“That specific type of phthalate is not banned in sex toys but is on the EU list of chemicals of ‘very high concern’ as it can affect the body’s hormonal balance and cause infertility. Companies are therefore required to inform consumers if a product contains more than 0.1%,” The Guardian article reads.

Aside from ensuring your sex toy is made from quality materials, an online search said toy users should also ensure good hygiene by properly cleaning their toys after use, ensuring proper condom use if sharing and sticking to the usage guidelines.

But despite their sales and solid customer bases, both Van Vuuren and Meyer said many people were reluctant to explore the adult toy market.

“One thing I can say is that there definitely is a market for this kind of thing in East London but I think a problem is that people are too shy to go into a branded shop looking for toys. It’s easier for them to order their products online and have them delivered to their door.

“I notice this attitude with the parties I host. People will have a lot of fun at the parties and laugh at every item I bring out but no one actually buys anything and I think it’s because they’re too embarrassed. But after the party, I get so many phone calls with people wanting to place their order.”

Meyer, who delivers her products across the country and has cross-border clients too, said despite the interest in sex toys, the challenge was getting this interest to translate into a purchase, as many people have been indoctrinated into thinking the industry is bad.

“There are also the misconceptions that women are the pleasers and they therefore cannot get the pleasure themselves.

“These products are breaking those barriers down and many couples are starting to come around to the idea of sex toys.

“There is a strong African women customer base emerging and this has seen me delivering to places including Botswana, Namibia and Mpumalanga.” — zisandan@dispatch.co.za