This week I write while in pain, weeping after the premature death of a young man – only 23 years old – very close to me, whose family links run deep in the Eastern Cape.Vuyisile Miles Smith’s life was tragically cut short by diabetes.
His was not the only death this week due to this metabolic disorder. The Port Elizabeth- born politician Andile Nkuhlu, a longtime comrade and friend, was another unable to prevail in the battle against diabetes.
He passed away in a Gauteng clinic, also prematurely.
Death – when distant – is logical, scientific, and understandable. But when a parent loses a child, there is surely nothing more painful. And within the great African extended family Vuyisile was every bit a son to me. I was his godfather.
Had uKrebe (our nickname or Vuyisile – the apple of our eye) grown old, suffered the normal ailments of old age, used umsimbhithi (the staff), perhaps we would have expected it, been more prepared and resigned ourselves to the inevitable end.
Because he was budding, expectant and not yet ripe, we were caught entirely unprepared. We feel duped. Still reeling we ask: Why take him, the prince of our wondrous dreams and extravagant wishes? Why now, when his eyes were so expectant with a glorious future?
Why deprive him of the circle of life – birth, growth, maturity, old age, ailments, and, ultimately, permanent departure?
Removed from our hearts, the rationale of science speaks to us – and we hear the voice of the Marquis de Sade when he said to Marat: “Man has given a false importance to death. Any animal, plant, or man who dies, adds to nature’s compost heap – becomes the manure without which nothing could grow, nothing could be created. Death is simply part of the process.”
Yet, when sorrow points the arrows of life at the centre of our being, cold analysis has no place. Even the unwavering faith of believers is inadequate. It leaves us hollow, wanting, and still searching. Job, God’s chosen, tells us: “Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble. He cometh forth like a flower, and is cut down: he fleeth also as a shadow, and continueth not.”
The clergy too are quick to quote Genesis 3:19: “By the sweat of your face you will eat bread, till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
But to that Sunday sermon we shake our heads – shushing them to only preach to us when their own dearest have departed.
We refuse too, to be assuaged even by the melodious language of poets. John Donne’s relevance comes only when he curses death: “Death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so/ For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.”
In a bitter twist this very week the news broke that diabetes rates were for the very first time falling – although not in this country but the US. The rest of the world, however, continues to struggle with rising rates – and the devastating consequences including massive healthcare costs, amputations, blindness as well as early death.
Sadly for South Africans, diabetes remains one of the three leading causes of death – along with tuberculosis and strokes.
As for our family and friends, gutted, morose and inconsolable we will put on our Sunday best, don our hats, wrap our shawls and wear our mourning doeks. Still disbelieving, we will walk the last mile to our son’s final destination. Half of our heart will remain entombed in Vuyi’s resting place, but our memories will reach back to what he willed to us as a final testament – to how he made us laugh, taste happiness and see a constellation of stars through the portal of his eyes.
At his peak, our Miles was a muted trumpet that filled our lives with rhythm and blues; “Mr Cool” an apt reflection of the name on his birth certificate. Surely, his musical mind would have made Miles Davis proud.
As we continue to mourn, may your soul eternally rest in peace, dear boy.
And it will remain our heartfelt hope that the US trend will soon be replicated here. Young life is far too precious for it not to be.
Diabetes steals away our sons
His was not the only death this week due to this metabolic disorder. The Port Elizabeth- born politician Andile Nkuhlu, a longtime comrade and friend, was another unable to prevail in the battle against diabetes.
He passed away in a Gauteng clinic, also prematurely.
Death – when distant – is logical, scientific, and understandable. But when a parent loses a child, there is surely nothing more painful. And within the great African extended family Vuyisile was every bit a son to me. I was his godfather.
Had uKrebe (our nickname or Vuyisile – the apple of our eye) grown old, suffered the normal ailments of old age, used umsimbhithi (the staff), perhaps we would have expected it, been more prepared and resigned ourselves to the inevitable end.
Because he was budding, expectant and not yet ripe, we were caught entirely unprepared. We feel duped. Still reeling we ask: Why take him, the prince of our wondrous dreams and extravagant wishes? Why now, when his eyes were so expectant with a glorious future?
Why deprive him of the circle of life – birth, growth, maturity, old age, ailments, and, ultimately, permanent departure?
Removed from our hearts, the rationale of science speaks to us – and we hear the voice of the Marquis de Sade when he said to Marat: “Man has given a false importance to death. Any animal, plant, or man who dies, adds to nature’s compost heap – becomes the manure without which nothing could grow, nothing could be created. Death is simply part of the process.”
Yet, when sorrow points the arrows of life at the centre of our being, cold analysis has no place. Even the unwavering faith of believers is inadequate. It leaves us hollow, wanting, and still searching. Job, God’s chosen, tells us: “Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble. He cometh forth like a flower, and is cut down: he fleeth also as a shadow, and continueth not.”
The clergy too are quick to quote Genesis 3:19: “By the sweat of your face you will eat bread, till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
But to that Sunday sermon we shake our heads – shushing them to only preach to us when their own dearest have departed.
We refuse too, to be assuaged even by the melodious language of poets. John Donne’s relevance comes only when he curses death: “Death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so/ For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.”
In a bitter twist this very week the news broke that diabetes rates were for the very first time falling – although not in this country but the US. The rest of the world, however, continues to struggle with rising rates – and the devastating consequences including massive healthcare costs, amputations, blindness as well as early death.
Sadly for South Africans, diabetes remains one of the three leading causes of death – along with tuberculosis and strokes.
As for our family and friends, gutted, morose and inconsolable we will put on our Sunday best, don our hats, wrap our shawls and wear our mourning doeks. Still disbelieving, we will walk the last mile to our son’s final destination. Half of our heart will remain entombed in Vuyi’s resting place, but our memories will reach back to what he willed to us as a final testament – to how he made us laugh, taste happiness and see a constellation of stars through the portal of his eyes.
At his peak, our Miles was a muted trumpet that filled our lives with rhythm and blues; “Mr Cool” an apt reflection of the name on his birth certificate. Surely, his musical mind would have made Miles Davis proud.
As we continue to mourn, may your soul eternally rest in peace, dear boy.
And it will remain our heartfelt hope that the US trend will soon be replicated here. Young life is far too precious for it not to be.
Would you like to comment on this article?
Register (it's quick and free) or sign in now.
Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.
Trending Now
Latest Videos