It is a topic few want to talk about, but Compassionate Friends stalwart Myrtle Flemming is characteristically forthright about the traumatic subject of suicide which she said was on the rise in East London.
Flemming, 76, has devoted a large chunk of her life to counselling bereaved parents, but said death by suicide adds an extra layer of pain to the unimaginable grief inflicted by the loss of a child.
Speaking to the Saturday Dispatch amid the dusty pink hues of her Baysville lounge, Flemming paged through an exercise book of carefully kept records.
The agonising list reflects the particulars of the children – both young and old – who have died and whose parents she has reached out to in the city.
In the past three years, 26 of these deaths have been due to suicide.
“About 95% are male and most hanged themselves or took an overdose,” said Flemming.
The youngest suicide victim she knows of was an 11-year-old boy who hanged himself in his home three years ago while his mother popped out down the road.
“When someone’s child dies, people want to know why it happened to them – but when it’s a suicide, there are even more whys.
“Parents ask why they didn’t notice, why they didn’t do something to prevent it.”
Her experience is borne out by a report written by a former Frere Hospital intern, Kirsten Rowe, and published in a recent South African Medical Journal.
The study found there had been 380 suicide attempts between March 2014 and February 2015, with overdoses being at the heart of most of the attempts.
Flemming took over the East London chapter of international organisation Compassionate Friends, three years after her own son, army medic Andrew Jones, 21, died in an ambulance vehicle accident in 1990.
Flemming said the number of suicides had risen since she began counselling bereaved parents and puts this down to an increase in “hopelessness”.
Masithethe Counselling Services acting director Jackie Orsmond said there had been an increase in teenagers talking about and attempting suicide in East London over the last five years, frequently in response to peer pressure and bullying.
To provide support and a deeper insight into suicide, Compassionate Friends and Masithethe have teamed up and arranged a talk entitled The Suicide Saga which will be presented by Masithethe volunteer Gareth Dart and is open to all.
lThe Suicide Saga talk will take place on Monday, June 20 at the Vincent Methodist Church hall at 7.30pm.
lBereaved families can reach Compassionate Friends on 043-721-0406, while Masithethe Counselling Services is on 043-743-7266 during office hours. — barbarah@dispatch.co.za
Dealing with pain of suicide in kids
Flemming, 76, has devoted a large chunk of her life to counselling bereaved parents, but said death by suicide adds an extra layer of pain to the unimaginable grief inflicted by the loss of a child.
Speaking to the Saturday Dispatch amid the dusty pink hues of her Baysville lounge, Flemming paged through an exercise book of carefully kept records.
The agonising list reflects the particulars of the children – both young and old – who have died and whose parents she has reached out to in the city.
In the past three years, 26 of these deaths have been due to suicide.
“About 95% are male and most hanged themselves or took an overdose,” said Flemming.
The youngest suicide victim she knows of was an 11-year-old boy who hanged himself in his home three years ago while his mother popped out down the road.
“When someone’s child dies, people want to know why it happened to them – but when it’s a suicide, there are even more whys.
“Parents ask why they didn’t notice, why they didn’t do something to prevent it.”
Her experience is borne out by a report written by a former Frere Hospital intern, Kirsten Rowe, and published in a recent South African Medical Journal.
The study found there had been 380 suicide attempts between March 2014 and February 2015, with overdoses being at the heart of most of the attempts.
Flemming took over the East London chapter of international organisation Compassionate Friends, three years after her own son, army medic Andrew Jones, 21, died in an ambulance vehicle accident in 1990.
Flemming said the number of suicides had risen since she began counselling bereaved parents and puts this down to an increase in “hopelessness”.
Masithethe Counselling Services acting director Jackie Orsmond said there had been an increase in teenagers talking about and attempting suicide in East London over the last five years, frequently in response to peer pressure and bullying.
To provide support and a deeper insight into suicide, Compassionate Friends and Masithethe have teamed up and arranged a talk entitled The Suicide Saga which will be presented by Masithethe volunteer Gareth Dart and is open to all.
lThe Suicide Saga talk will take place on Monday, June 20 at the Vincent Methodist Church hall at 7.30pm.
lBereaved families can reach Compassionate Friends on 043-721-0406, while Masithethe Counselling Services is on 043-743-7266 during office hours. — barbarah@dispatch.co.za
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