Hard road for widows in fiercely cruel world

Losing a husband can have a crippling effect on a woman who suddenly has to face the world without a life partner, and she can easily be overwhelmed and vulnerable.

Widows need to deal with their loss, prepare funeral arrangements and remain strong enough to support their children through the traumatic ordeal.

This Women’s Master Class “free yourself” session was to highlight the abuse of widows and also to create awareness among women about their rights, especially the rights of widows, she said. “We have targeted single, divorced, married and widowed women because it is women who are the first ones to discriminate against each other.”

“We hope by the end of the session that we would have given life to the spirit of sisterhood and that those who attend would have an opportunity to free themselves from emotional bondage, because it is their human right to be free from emotional bondage as this makes them bitter towards life and others, especially widows,” explained Mzimba.

“The Mphakamise campaign I am also currently running encourages people to treat widows with acts of kindness because of everything they have endured and to remove the stigma attached to them, to help them feel like part of society and lift their spirits.

“I have written a poem for all widows as my gift to them in support of the campaign: Sponsor A Widow … Pull Her Up … Mphakamise Campaign.”

Widows are often:

Evicted from their homes by greedy relatives in violation of the Prevention of Illegal Eviction from Unlawful Occupation of Land Act;

Helpless in the face of looting of the deceased estate before it is wound up;

Forced to endure the abduction of their children by relatives who only want to claim the benefits of the children from their deceased father’s estate;

Subjected to lengthy mourning periods in order to be gagged from speaking up for themselves;

Discriminated against or excluded from society on the basis of being a widow;

Victimised by unscrupulous legal practitioners who deny them and their children access to their funds from settlements like life insurance, and Road Accident Fund;

Accused of murdering their husbands;

Expected to undergo cleansing rituals that may be in contradiction to their own beliefs, for example being expected to drink the water their husband’s corpse was washed in. Apparently this practice is believed to avert bad luck as death is seen as bad luck; and

Expected to have sexual intercourse with the brother of the deceased or remarry into the family of one’s husband in order to retain the deceased’s estate.

This violates Section 10 of the Constitution, which provides for the dignity of every person and Section 12 which provides for the freedom and security of every person.

What Home Affairs says:

PROVINCIAL co-ordinator Mzingisi Nokhele said Home Affairs was not in the business of marrying, but it does register marriages.

“We issue marriage certificates af--ter a customary marriage has been registered.

“People who are married and have not registered their marriage are encouraged to do so immediately.

“But those who may have been widowed and lost their partner before they could register can do so in the presence of witnesses who can confirm they have been married by customary law, pending an investigation by the Department of Home Affairs, which will approve it once satisfied with testimonies.”

Nokhele said those who might not have convinced the Department of Home Affairs were encouraged to go to the high court. —  mbalit@dispatch.co.za