As long as the government continues to concentrate only on helping victims of abuse heal but does not look at helping their families come to terms with the tragedy and also at the perpetrators, efforts to fight women and child abuse will continue to be less effective.
This was the view expressed by sexual abuse survivor Tami Mase, 44, during the launch of her first book Traces of Blue and Black at the Nelson Mandela Museum on Friday.
She was allegedly sexually abused by one of the women in the orphanage she grew up in.
Mase claims to have also been abused by a relative when her family took her from the orphanage when she was six years old. She never reported the abuse.
Mase, who was born in Nyanga village in Ngcobo, later suffered a mental breakdown and was diagnosed with severe depressive disorder.
She tried to commit suicide on more than five occasions and had to receive psychological help from five specialists before she could overcome her depression.
“Government only concentrates on helping the victims.
“But perpetrators themselves have to be looked at, as well as the family of the victims. That is because complete forgiveness comes from understanding why the perpetrator did what they did to you,” Mase said.
Although she was haunted by what happened to her, she eventually found courage to forgive the woman who had abused her at the orphanage.
Mase said she had first tried to commit suicide when she was 14 years old and again in about 2008.
But she said she realised there was a reason she did not die, which made her re-look at her life.
And now with her book, she hopes to help other victims of abuse to come forward and tell their stories.
“It’s about encouraging victims to speak out and forgive.
“This is because I don’t think she [woman at the orphanage] was happy after doing what she did to me. I hope the book will be a platform for people to come forward.”
Her book launch also coincided with the launch of the Voice of Women Media, an organisation aimed at helping empower women including those who have been abused.
It is a partnership between the Tami Mase Institute and the Royal Women of Africa led by its chief executive officer Nkosikazi Nodiyala Mandela.
Nodiyala said people who lived in urban areas often spoke a language of privilege, opportunities and success, whereas their counterparts in the rural areas spoke of underprivilege, poverty and despair.
She praised Mase for taking a bold step in writing the book “to show there is life after tragedy and that there is life after pain”.
Clinical psychologist Farahdiba Stephanus, who helped Mase recover, praised her courage, saying she had given every girl-child motivation to rebuild the nation, “as when you damaged a girl child, you damage the whole country”.
Media personality Zintle Mbusi said Mase was clearing the way for other victims of abuse to come forward...